i am very impressed, and glad that you are fortunate enough to have a family who is willing and able to help you with this project. i fell in love with a fiat spider which sat forever with a 'for sale' sign in the corner of a restaurant parking lot in the town where i grew up. unfortunately, i could not afford it, and i definitely couldn't get my father onboard; he only knew american cars, and only had SAE tools.
as for getting some stance, the monza wheels i just got from mark allison are amazing. i have springs on order (from vick, as i also needed some other front suspension components which allisons does not have) to lower it 1 1/4". so i can only speak for the wheels at this time, but i should have some feedback on the progressive lowering springs by this time next week.
as for the paint, i know what you mean about the abarth paint scheme, but i pretty much don't care. i love the look, and it has been so many years since there really were many around that i don't see any problem. i will never misrepresent the car as an abarth, and will offer up a pair of buttocks for anyone to kiss, who has a problem with that.
i am pretty new on this forum, so i am definitely not any kind of sage to listen to, but the opinion i am applying to my spider was formed over many years of owning, restoring, and customizing motorcycles: do what makes you happy. if you have the time and resources to completely restore a car to concours condition, hey...that's great. but the vast majority of owners just want to have a good-looking, working car. i saw one slightly derogatory reference somewhere around here, regarding non-original mirrors, for instance. well, my stock flag mirror was hardly useable, and i could tell that even at the best of times, the cable system that adjusts the mirror from inside the car was a pretty weak design. so, i had no problem with placing a round chrome mirror in its place. it does everything the original does, but better, with the exception of having to roll the window down to make an adjustment.
seriously, make the car work for you. have fun getting it there, and have fun driving it, once it is there. you are awesome.